You don’t need ab workouts! Instead of doing real exercises to try and strengthen yourself the old-fashioned way, check out these 5, totally-viable, completely-not-ridiculous ways to replace them for good.
#5 Great Abs Are Out of Style.
Things have changed — now it’s all about beer bellies! No one really cares so much about great abs anymore. All the big trendsetters when it comes to what’s hot and what’s in are saying it loud and clear — flab is fab, lean is not.
#4 Most Extra Fat Finds its Way to Easily Concealable Areas.
I know I was just talking about beer bellies up there, but really, they’re ultra-rare. You don’t really need to do any ab workouts because your belly is probably already super-toned anyway. If you’re eating a lot of junk, don’t worry — most of that stuff does you a huge favor and goes and hides somewhere out-of-sight, on the back of your legs or maybe in your feet or something. No one really gains any fat on their stomachs. Nope!
#3 No One Goes to the Beach Anymore.
Think about it. We’ve got global warming, we’ve got pollution, it’s all pretty crazy, and who really wants to go to the beach anymore? No one really spends any time there — I haven’t heard of anyone going to the beach in years, and I’m practically an expert about these things.
#2 Buy One Of Those Electrode-Based Machines.
There’s a reason there are all those infomercials on TV selling those pulsating weird machines that you hook up to your abs. It’s because they work so wonderfully well! Just apply the gel, attach the electrodes, plug in the machine, turn it on, and watch the pounds loudly, automatically, magically melt away! I swear, it really…. works!
#1 You Can Probably Just Take A Few Pills.
If using a pulsing robo-machine doesn’t fill you with excitement, why not fill yourself with those amazing diet pills instead? According to the people advertising them (who, of course, have no interest in anything but your health), they really work well, and are totally awesome! Sure, they might be placebos that do nothing at best and kill you at worst, but hey, someone’s got to try ‘em, right? Goodbye crunches!
If you still want a well toned body, you better start doing a good body workout on a daily basis. Zuzana’s workout videos at Bodyrock.TV will guide you through the process of obtaining the results you desire.
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February 27th, 2010
Tory Jackson
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